??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
