im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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