i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
