we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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