is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
