for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
