I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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