..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize