I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
