Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
