you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
