i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
