summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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