I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
