Your tits are I can't wait for
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
