Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
