Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
