all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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