You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
