would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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