Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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