how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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