apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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