look no pants
Plan B is the new Plan A
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
