i already hear my dad disowning me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
