So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
bring money and cleavage
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
