I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
