At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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