i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
