Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize