I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
