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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
that is very illegal...i love you.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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