return my video game
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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