Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
