What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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