im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Text me some of your sweat
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
