I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
