Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
