You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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