this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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