we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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