I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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