There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
