I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
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