i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
