Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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