can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
