I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
