Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
