I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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