the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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