How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
