told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
