Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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