My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
