So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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