the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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