You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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