In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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