I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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