Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
