Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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