Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize