That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
