We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
